Hello
folks once again, hope you are having a blast. Well, I want to talk about
something that just popped into my mind. It is called SELF LOVE. If I am to be completely honest with you, the song “Let
me love you” be Ne-Yo just sparked on the back of my mind. The lyric of the
song says “Let me love you, and I will love you until you learn to love
yourself”. My question is this, do you need to be loved by someone else before
you love yourself?
I
am going to take this topic in two segments, the physical and the spiritual.
First of all, I will like to explain the physical aspect. How many of us can
proudly say that you have sown the seed of love in someone whose heart has been
seared with the hot iron of hatred? Most of us (especially men), we tend to
pick up on people who are vulnerable and take advantage of their vulnerability
by telling them what they want to hear and soothing their aching hearts only to
leave them hang out to dry after getting what we want. Everyone has a need to
love and be loved. We like to hear comments like “I like everything about you”
and you ask yourself “what is it about me that this person loves?” but as
humans, we have special qualities that make us unique and makes us stand out
from others. These qualities could be physical which include:
i.
A
person’s walk
ii.
A
person’s smile
iii.
A
person’s body structure etc
There
are also inner qualities which include:
i.
A
person’s speech
ii.
A
person’s hobbies
iii.
A
person’s philosophies on life etc
As
I said earlier, predators take advantage of people who don’t realize these
qualities that distinguish them because; these victims have grown to accept
that they are just like everyone else. And even if these people know who they
are, they always look for new ways to emphasize what these “victims” already
know to boost their ego. I asked a question earlier “How many of us can proudly
say that you sown the seed of love in someone whose heart has been seared with
the hot iron of hatred? Well, hatred in this case can be viewed as low self
esteem.
Some
people mistake self destruction for self love, in response to low self esteem,
we try to experiment with ourselves by taking advantage of some poor/naive
individual by shining your strong points which I mentioned earlier without
seeing the imperfect side of you. This is why some relationships don’t last. We
want to show our “perfect” side when really there is no one that is perfect.
Examples of people’s imperfections could include body odour, imperfect speech
pattern, inadequate height, a mathematically “incorrect” body figure etc. We
forget the fact that “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”. The fact that
she doesn’t have the hind quarters of Kim Kardarshian does not mean that she
doesn’t have the heart and talent of Oprah Winfrey or just because he is not as
handsome as David Beckham, that does not mean he does not have the nobility and
heart of John Legend. I am sure you can’t live a day in the shoes of the person
you revere as your idol.
I
have heard people share comments like if I have Kim Kardarshian as my
girlfriend, I will never look at anyone; I will be satisfied. Well, allow me to
rain on your parade; they are human beings like you and me. They are subject to
errors and mistakes like every other person. The reason you hear about them is
because they decided to distinguish themselves in their unique fields. They
found out what they were good at and practiced day and night to perfect it.
When you compare yourself or your partners with them and forget your own strong
points you are setting yourselves for failure. My honest advice is that you
should take the strong points of your role model and make them your own and
leave the bad ones.
We
owe each other one thing and that is, love. If you read my previous articles,
you will see other topics on love. I emphasize on love because despite the fact
that hatred produces a certain “release”, the effects are temporary compared to
the long lasting “high” that comes from heartfelt love. Every human being is
living only half his/her life if we don’t know how to really love. If you are
experimenting with yourselves (having indiscriminate sex and other societal
vices) trying to find out “what works” for you, you will only be wasting your
time and killing yourself. I once quoted a line from the movie Casanova where
the lead character is lectured by a woman who does not like the lead
character’s nefarious activities; she said “self love is self doubt”.
I
mentioned something in the beginning of this article about Ne-Yo’s famous line
the song “Let Me Love You”. My lesson here is you should first of all see your
strong points and it is your partner’s job to look and discover the rest of
them. Someone loving you does not come in form of premarital sex and other
toxic relationship vices. You may be good in the “sack” but that does not mean
that you are a gift to all men or women. You should be with someone who takes
the time to look into your heart to see your strong points and add value to
your life. Take the time to improve yourself.
Love
your strong points and add more to your repertoire from the people who have the
same persona as you.
Let
us spread the “Love Culture”.
I
look forward to reading your comments on the box below.
E-Mail:
johnnyogah2000@gmail.com
So
everyone, LIVE LONG AND EXCEL.
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