Hello once again, sorry about
being late for this Father’s day piece but I want to write something about this
special day. I want to dedicate this piece to my father. So many people are not
fortunate to have a father due to circumstances beyond their control; for that
I offer my condolences. Last year, I wrote a piece concerning Father’s Day
titled, Evolution from Boyhood to Manhood. Check it out.
A father is more than just a
sperm donor, he is more than just a man with swag, he is more than just a
figure head of the family, he is more than a provider, and he is generally the
hero of the house. A father is a wise man who has gone through all the rigours
of life and shares his experiences with his children. Rather than allow his
children experience his mistakes, he warns them to avoid them.
A father may seem like a wicked
dictator during your childhood and teenage years and will definitely make some
mistakes along the way but let me ask you something. When you were growing up,
what did you know about the outside world? A Godly father would tell you what
to expect and how to circumvent or go through the pitfalls of life. An ungodly
father would encourage his children to “see for themselves” what it is like out
there and would probably abuse his children to show them who the boss of the
house is.
The fact of the matter is, there
are sperm donors and there are fathers. Sperm donors are the ones that abuse
their children, abuse their wives, neglect their fatherly duties and expect
respect from their children when they grow up (what a laugh). These sperm
donors are so lazy they would ask the wife and children to do all the financial
provision in the household that is why in Nigeria especially, you will find
young boys and girls who are sent by their parents to hawk goods on the
streets. These children lack the basic education they need. They force their
children to go into immoral acts like child prostitution in public
transportation parks and if they don’t sell all their wares or bring in their
allotted dues they receive harsh punishments from the parents. The parents use
excuses like “do you know what I went through when I married your mother?”, or
my all time favourite excuse “I am teaching them how to survive”. These species
of fathers don’t know that you will reap what you sow; you can’t sow hate and
expect to reap love; you can’t sow indifference and reap full attention. They
are people out there who are praying to find someone to hold as their child and there are poor people who will provide the best for their children and won’t
use their social status as an excuse.
The bible says (paraphrasing)
“Teach a child the way to live and he/he is will not depart from it” (Proverbs
22:6). I am so angry at sperm donors because they neglect their
responsibilities as teachers to their children. I believe the reason they do
this is because they are still boys. Boys are the only ones who we as adult
cannot expect to take on the responsibilities of a father. A boy would want to
“explore his options”; he would want to explore what life has to offer before
thinking of being “tied down” with the responsibilities of fatherhood.
Now to the crux of this article
what makes a father, well like I said earlier in this article, a father is
someone who loves and yet will discipline you when needed. Like it or not, we
are all stubborn creatures; when we were children, we would do things that will
annoy our parents and would disobey them. The only way to save us from
ourselves was to use the “rod of correction” hence the saying if you spare the
rod, you will spoil the child. I am a better man today because my father used
the rod of correction on me when I did something wrong; he taught me how to
clean up my messes both literally and figuratively; he taught me how to respect
women and the dangers of being toying with a woman’s heart. I leant this in the
way he treated my mother. My father did and he is still doing all he can to
give us (his children), sound education and encouraging us to break the social
norm and be the best in whatever we set our sights on. He taught me how to
fight and when to fight. He told me something when I was young, he said “Go to
school and earn a degree. With a degree you will be able to hold your head in
the society and not put down. You are intelligent but education will take you
far”. The sperm donors will say stuff like “why do you need school? Use what
you have to get what you want”. This may be true but why expose your children
to society without sufficient ammunition? My family is not the richest in
Nigeria but my father sacrificed for me. He sees the bigger picture beyond my
talent and encourages me to press on and keep the dream alive.
To the upcoming fathers reading
this article, please note that not all fathers are perfect; I know mine isn’t.
He made mistakes but he learnt from them and he is still learning. The best you
can do is seeking counsel from your father to avoid the pitfalls he made with
you. I have to admit my father sometimes makes me so angry but hey that is just
the way it is.
For these of you who have real
fathers and sperm donors, I leave you with this piece of advice; LOVE THEM
BOTH. It is not easy being a father. You were born into this world to fulfil
one purpose or the other. Do not allow the trauma of childhood get in the way
of the good you can do to your generation. No one is perfect. I am sure you
might say that I do not know what it means to have a bad father; well guess
what, I don’t. But my father made a lot of mistakes and I did not let it get in
my way. Learn to forgive and carve out your own path. Everyone’s destiny is
different. Don’t be drawn into the “Like father, like son” stereotype that is
being perpetuated in the society today. I take the good qualities in my father,
and leave the bad ones. You should do the same. Even sperm donors have their
good qualities. Find them and use them.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
Thanks for reading...
I
look forward to reading your comments on the box below.
E-Mail:
johnnyogah2000@gmail.com
So
everyone, LIVE LONG AND EXCEL.
Comments
Post a Comment